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[personal profile] morrobay1990
Title: Evidence of Things Not Seen
Author: [ profile] morrobay1990
Word count: 700
Disclaimer: Jack & Ennis are AP's.
♥ Jack

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.


He had seen it. Hadn’t he? Seen and felt and heard the real thing from Ennis himself.

Or had it been an illusion?

He didn’t know about stuff like that.

Faith. That he understood, but only a little, having been brought up to believe in the Pentecost…or, at least, he knew his mother believed in it. There was no real handing down of love of God from mother to son…nothing explained in a way he could understand. It was, she said, a belief in the evidence of things not seen. Jesus died for the sins of mankind, all would be forgiven…but he wondered: would he?

Not that it weighed on him. No. They were her beliefs, not his…and only one of the many things that he had escaped when he left that house…those teachings, those beliefs, that life. But one question always stayed with him: why didn’t she save me? In later years, he would come to understand her situation…her limitations…they were the same as his.

It took him a while, only a little while, to realize that he’d been right to leave…right to expect that all people weren’t like his father…right, and, although he’d never know this part, ahead of his time.

And then came this gift from heaven. A job. Same as last year, although there’d been no guarantee he’d get this second year. And when he pulled up and parked and saw the other guy, he figured it was still better than nothing.

But this was different. They drank through the afternoon…found out a little about each other…it was one of those things that just…happen. Instantaneous…out of nowhere. Something was there.

After Aguirre gave his orders, and they got loaded up, it was just them and a thousand sheep…they made their way up the mountain, set up camp, and in the lowering darkness he rode the trail he would take daily from camp to the sheep...he saw the fire across the mountain...something was there.

First time in a while that he could relax a little, mundane things he never took for granted would be his for the whole summer… a job, a place to sleep, food.

And there was that thing he’d felt for Ennis first time they shook hands…and again when they talked. The first few days he went about his job, did everything he was supposed to…but he felt that thing…that thing felt, not seen.

Then there was evidence of….something. The offer, not asked for, to watch the herd while he stayed in camp…switching responsibilities…and why? Was there something he had missed? Was there something?

He’d shot a coyote. Jack had seen the animal more than once, but no luck, a fact he did not share. And that night…that night…the supper and drinking, talking of important things…things that meant something to them… that night would not soon be forgotten by Jack…he didn’t know how Ennis felt about it…unseen.

When it finally did happen…when physical contact was made, it dragged his emotions with it…another fact he did not share.

As the summer passed, he fell in love, and couldn’t help but ask himself…couldn’t help but ask himself…what about him?

Then the statement: I’m not no queer. “Me neither.”

But there was that one night. That one night in August when Ennis spent the whole night in camp because of the hailstorm. And that’s when he saw…he heard…he knew. The next day and for five days after, they’d spend their time apart, working, sorting out the damn sheep. But that one night…Jack knew it was different, knew it meant something, he wasn’t stupid…

Ennis hadn’t been any drunker than any other night, but there was a closeness beyond just the physical that night…he had said things…Jack could still recite them in his mind word for word…they were more precious to him than anything he had ever owned. It was a giving over…surrender, of sorts…not to a conqueror, but a savior.

Now, all these years later, Jack…and he suspected Ennis, too… lived for the time there might be another night like that…they were rare…but once in a while, the bond between them would be strengthened… that thing that kept them tied to each other would be shored up… his faith would be restored…he would, for a moment, have evidence of things not seen.

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