morrobay1990: (Default)
[personal profile] morrobay1990
Title: Consecration
Author: [ profile] morrobay1990
Genre: Ennis after
Word count: 400
Disclaimer: Jack & Ennis are AP's.
♥ Jack

Consecration: a solemn commitment of your life or your time to some cherished purpose.


He supposed it was really only meant to describe something in the religious life. Didn’t matter. What he thought in his own mind was his own.

He’d heard the word in church when he took Junior and the kids one Sunday...wasn’t his idea, but he did what he could.

Sat through the sermon wondering if he had enough JD left to get him through the afternoon...hoped Junior wouldn’t make him stay for supper, though he knew he’d be hungry by then and she did make a good pot roast and potatoes...

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.”

He changed “the Lord”, to “Jack” and it made sense...he didn’t see it as heresy.

His mind drifted. He wished he had trusted in Jack...wished he’d been strong enough to let Jack lead him to a life together...although even now, today, he worried that if Jack still lived, he wouldn't be able to trust, to believe, to follow.

“Most sweet Jesus, Redeemer of the human race, look down upon us humbly prostrate before Thine altar. We are Thine, and Thine we wish to be; but, to be more surely united with Thee, behold each one of us freely consecrates himself today to Thy most Sacred Heart.”

Consecrate. He liked the sound of the word, but didn’t remember ever hearing it before, not surprising since he only went to church when Junior begged him to, once or twice a year.

Freely consecrates to the most sacred heart. That’s what he heard...might have been different from what was said. So what did it mean? Consecrate. To the sacred heart. Give over? Give up? Honor? Dedicate?

He decided “dedicate” sounded like the right meaning.

Back at home, needing to be alone with his thoughts more than he needed pot roast, his mind brought up that word again...and the thought suddenly came to him that these days, his life was a sort of dedication to Jack’s memory...he spent most of his waking moments thinking about him and most of his sleeping moments dreaming about him. Nothing but his memories of Jack could make him so sad, and nothing but reliving their time together could bring him out of the depths of despair...only all made sense...

It was a consecration to a sacred heart.

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Ah, angst, lovely angst

Date: 2013-07-13 08:59 pm (UTC)
ext_325262: Pip Pumphandle (Default)
From: [identity profile]

This is a very interesting... development? Could it be a quiet, thoughtful turning point for Ennis? Or is it just one of those realizations that leads to understanding, but not to change?

Re: Ah, angst, lovely angst

Date: 2013-07-14 08:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Yes, angst, what would we do without it?

You posed a good question: turning point or understanding but no change?

If I had more time to write, I would make it a turning point, and do a multi-chapter w/a new love for him...maybe after this hot summer cools off.

Thanks for reading, and for your comments, as always.


morrobay1990: (Default)

August 2013

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