All Things Considered, Chapter 10
Oct. 16th, 2011 02:05 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
morrobay1990Title: All Things Considered, Chapter 10
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
morrobay1990
Warning:
Word count: 3000
Disclaimer: They are AP's
♥ Jack
♥Tara♥
Previously, on All Things Considered...
In addition to the secluded weekends at the cabin, the two men spent time together off the mountain.....yet even as they...learned about each other, talked and laughed together, somehow they remained separate, individual, one and one.
And so it went; Travis saw himself a willing player in a game where the stakes were so high he wondered how long it would be until he was forced to walk away from the table.
And always, always Jack was there...in dreams and in nightmares. He was sure that he would never love anyone the way he had loved Jack, and in any case, knew he didn't even want to try.
Introspective Ennis? Will wonders never cease....
Mariah
Deborah held out her hand to Ennis and if he was shaken, which he was, he didn't show it, shook her hand and said “Ennis Del Mar. You're here to look at the lesson horses. I got six of 'em for you, couple still bein' trained, couple older ones. How many you lookin' for?”
As he talked, he was sizing her up, trying to see if she resembled her reputation, if there was more or less to her.
So this was Travis's riding instructor. She was beautiful, all right. One of those women who was good-looking enough that she could pretend she was unaware of her face and body, when she knew damn well the commotion they could cause. She oozed confidence, another benefit of good looks and good genes.
And hell, no wonder he thought it was Mark until she stood up and turned around: her hair was pulled back off her face and stuffed up under her hat, she wore jeans, boots and a big bulky jacket – until she had turned to him and he saw the face, those glacial eyes, it could have been any tall, skinny guy on the place.
“Three for now, but maybe more over the next few months. We're getting pretty busy, lots of new students for some reason, and some of the older horses are being retired, they've done their job. Got any coffee, I could sure use a cup.”
“Yeah, come on in. I knew the guy that used to come over from Thunder Canyon, Mark something. How long you been workin' there?”
They walked into the tack room, Deborah tossed her hat on the table and sat down as Ennis handed her a cup, she leaned over and poured some coffee, added sugar, “Just moved over from Crazy J. Who does the training here?”
They sat across from each other at the table.
“There's a couple of us, me and the main guy who gives the lessons here. Sometimes we send 'em off if it's something specific for a client. But mostly me and Jim do it here.”
“Anybody show out of this barn, or you strictly train and sell?”
“We ain't a show barn, if that's what you mean. Couple of the guys do local rodeos, reining and roping, but the ranch don't sponsor 'em. Sure was different in my day – didn't need a sponsor, just show up with the entry fee in your pocket.”
“You don't show any more? I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't train all day and show the circuit.”
“Oh yeah? You do barrel racin'?”
He had meant it as an innocuous question; barrel racing was a woman's sport, everybody knew that.
Then he remembered, “You don't ride Western...”
“I train, ride and show English...sometimes hunter/jumper, but dressage mostly.”
“Oh, yeah, I heard a that. That's the fancy ridin', like circus ridin'...everybody wears a top hat, nobody ever breaks a sweat.” He didn't bother to keep the contempt from his voice.
She bristled slightly, “Yeah, that's exactly what it is.” Even Ennis couldn't miss the sarcasm.
“Sorry, I didn't mean...”
“That's ok, I get that a lot from people who don't know any better.” She pushed the coffee cup away and stood up. “Why don't you show me those horses?”
It was the second time in as many weeks that Travis had turned down Ennis's invitation to go up to the mountains, and Ennis didn't know what to make of that.
As he drove up the curving road to the cabin alone on Friday afternoon, he thought back to their conversations of the last few weeks, trying to think of something that he had said or done, not said or not done, that would make Travis choose to stay in town, wondered vaguely if it had anything to do with Deborah Strait.
He recalled the time Travis had said that the cabin...the mountain...was his favorite place, that he would rather be up there with Ennis than on a beach in Hawaii, or traveling the cities of Europe.
Ennis wasn't much of a deep thinker except where Jack was concerned; thinking too much about one thing just wore him out.
Early on when he had thought about Jack, about the past, it was always to try to figure out what went wrong, what he should have done differently, how he could have made it work. And after going over the same ground for all these years and coming up with the same answers time and again, now he just thought of Jack, the man.
His memories were precious to him; they could make him feel so happy, so relaxed. And then other times, they hurt so much, he didn't think he could stand it. These days, he tried to focus on the good ones....didn't always work.
He would close his eyes and remember how Jack looked coming back from watching the sheep, that first time he'd complained about being out there...sitting around the fire at night, telling those stupid jokes that had Ennis laughing so hard.
Then his mind would turn to how he had looked when Ennis had gone to him in the tent, how tender he had been, how he had held him that night, touched him, loved him. Ennis figured he'd spent a good couple years, maybe more all told, thinking about Jack Twist, and it was worth every minute.
But he didn't know if he was up to spending the same amount of time thinking about Travis.
Since he had met Travis, things had kind of fallen into place without too much effort on Ennis's part, a fact that secretly pleased him. Ennis had been attracted to Travis from the start, but would never have considered, even for a moment, approaching him.
So he was glad he hadn't had to make the first move, glad that Travis had come to him that first time. And with the exception of the time Ennis had been drunk and not in control, things had gone along pretty well, to his mind. He didn't give it too much thought; he was glad Travis was there, glad he had him to talk to, glad he shared Ennis's bed - did he love him?
That's when Ennis would back off his thinking, he would start to feel uncomfortable...trying to put Jack and Travis on the same level? Just couldn't ever be the same.
Now things were starting to change - Ennis hated change. In the back of his mind, he guessed that he didn't treat Travis very well; but the way he figured it, Travis was a grown man and if he didn't like it, he would move on.
And now it looked like that might be exactly what he was doing.
Ennis reached back, feeling for him, waiting for the familiar comfort, the warmth and touch of his body. But his fingers clutched at air, the space next to him was empty.
He kept his eyes shut, not wanting to face the day, another day, alone. He was so tired of replaying the same scenes, same dialogue, same ending, over and over in his mind. Why can't he forget? Why can't he forget about Travis...no, Jack...
He sat up in bed, wide awake now. What the fuck was that? Now he was having dreams about missing Travis?
Goddam it! Why couldn't he be normal? Feel something, give himself over to someone – all of him – not just his body.
He had failed Jack, failed himself, now he was failing Travis. And why? What was the point? To keep Jack's memory alive? Was that it?
He turned and put his feet on the floor, sitting on the edge of the bed, head down, tired to the bone of thinking about this shit, so fucking tired.
It was the same old thing. He had gotten so good at pushing people away, it wasn't even much of an effort any more.
Now being alone was becoming an effort.
It had never bothered him before, why now? Maybe he was getting old, maybe he was finally wising up...finally realizing that maybe, just fuckin' maybe, he didn't have to be alone...that being with someone didn't lessen the love he had for Jack, the love he'd always have for him. Maybe it was because of Travis.
In the beginning, he had taken it for what it was; someone to fill a need, someone to hold, to help ease his pain...he had used him like a drug. The relief he received allowed his mind to see Travis only as a painkiller, nothing else; not a lover, not a friend...but something shadowy and illicit that he needed to get through his days.
And as his pain subsided, and while the felling of well-being stayed with him, he could function without the pain, and he was not concerned with anything, not even Travis. He could twist his thinking as an addict would do, and separate the two, Travis and Jack; one he needed only in the basest of ways, while the other he loved, he knew now, in the most tender of ways.
But when the drug wore off, when missing Travis started to affect him, his body would demand more, and Travis would provide it. They would spend time together in the one place they both loved, and in time Ennis had grown more and more dependent on the drug, on Travis, and now the need was overwhelming. And he was afraid of what it all meant, afraid of needing another person so much; and he was afraid of forgetting Jack.
What if?
What if he left himself open to this thing with Travis? What if something happened? What if Travis left, or worse?
And there was something else that was drawing him to Travis and he didn't know if he had ever been able to define it before, but now he could put a name to it: it was trust.
He trusted Travis. He trusted him, knew with certainty that he was sincere in his words and in his actions, that he would not betray him.
The first time they made love he almost dreaded it, didn't want to allow himself the pleasure of being with someone else after Jack, even after all these years. But he'd been surprised how easy it was to let himself go, to be able to feel again, the drug taking hold.
Jack had taught him how to feel, how to touch, how to relax and let himself feel pleasure, and Ennis had never felt that again.
That first night with Jack Ennis had been scared, but he'd felt more longing than fear, and so had gone to Jack and had received comfort, tenderness, the things he thought were gone from his life forever - and so began his dreams.
Jack had taken him, had shown him how to give, how to receive love, and in doing so had given up a part of himself to Ennis, a part that Ennis would never be able to return - and so began his nightmares.
He thought of the way he was able to look into Travis's eyes as they made love, something he had rarely been able to do with Jack. He realized that it was a combination of giving, which had come from Jack, and trust, which Travis gave him freely, that he was able to do it at all.
He thought of Jack with longing and sadness, and suddenly he realized that he missed Travis.
Deborah was goddamned if she could figure out why Travis wasn't showing any interest in her.
She was used to having her pick of men, never mind the fact that she usually chose morons who had nothing to offer. Travis was different. She was attracted not only to his looks, but his easy-going manner, his way of talking, his intelligence...he seemed to have everything going for him. She didn't know what the problem was but she was sure as hell gonna find out.
“Travis, I found some horses for you to look at. I can call and set up a time to see them, if you're still interested.”
Deborah and Travis were walking the horses on the trail after his lesson, cooling them down before putting them in their stalls for the night.
“Yeah, y'know, I think I' ready to get serious about it and buy one in the next month or so.”
“Good. Why don't we meet here on Saturday, we'll take my truck. We can take them out on the trail and do some arena work. I've ridden them already, so I've narrowed it down to a couple that I think will work if you still want to do reining competition...but there's always dressage...” she smiled at him slyly.
“Yeah, that reminds me, I wanted to ask if I could go with you to one of your dressage tests. I'm just curious about this, never seen anything like it before, I've only ever been to rodeos.”
Deborah smiled as she always did when talking about her favorite subject, “You bet. I'm working on a freestyle to music for a show coming up. It's one of my favorite things to do: you have to choreograph a dressage test set to music, and the horse has to move in rhythm and still execute all the moves correctly. It's hard work, but fun. We're practicing all day tomorrow, day after, day after that, you get the idea. You can come by any time and watch.”
“Maybe I'll stop by on Friday, I'm leaving work early, got nothing planned for the weekend.” Even as he said it he felt a twinge inside: he could have something to do this weekend if he had wanted to. “You'll be here about two?”
“Told you, I'm here all day, every day, either teaching or training. Two is good.”
Finally!
Travis was asking to spend time, wanted to see her. Deborah felt triumphant, even if he had only asked to go to a dressage test. At least they had that in common, something to talk about. And he was coming over on Friday to watch her train. She felt like a high school kid and it was annoying, but Travis was the only thing she had wanted in a long time, and now she felt that all she had to do was reach out and take him.
After they got the horses bedded down, Travis left her at the ranch and drove to Nick's for a beer. After he ordered, he sat back and tried not to think about Ennis, which was pretty fucking useless, as he had found out over the past months.
Ennis always crept into his thoughts and mind. If only he could help him get over the overpowering sorrow of losing Jack. That seemed to be the only thing that was keeping them at this impasse, this crossroad. If Ennis could get past that, Travis knew that they could move on together. But now he didn't know what else to do.
Early on, he had thought that all he needed to do was to show Ennis love, and that by doing so, Ennis would relax and start to show signs of recovering from the hold Jack's ghost had on him. But Travis had tried again and again, being there when Ennis needed him, sharing his time, his thoughts, his body. Wanting to show him, so that there would be no misunderstanding how Travis felt, that he was prepared to take on Ennis's burdens as his own.
And now after so many months of trying, Travis was still in the same spot, square one, and though he didn't want to give up and move on, his self-preservation was telling him to do just that. So he had asked to spend time with Deborah to see how it felt. At least she showed interest in him, wanted to spend time with him; he had known for a while that she was interested, but he couldn't give up on Ennis yet. And now he felt Ennis gave him no choice.
He was in love with Ennis, he was sure of it. Ennis was not in love with him and probably never would be. But he had tried his best and had to move on.
Deborah was like a soothing, cool breeze on a hot day, while Ennis was more like clouds and drizzle.
Travis and Deborah left Thunder Canyon at ten on Saturday morning, heading out to see the horses she had vetted for him. After being on the road a while, and things starting to look pretty damn familiar, he asked where exactly they were going.
“Slate River. It's not too far. They've been breeding quarter horses for about twenty years so they're pretty new at it, but they have some good stock they've built on over the years.”
Travis stared out the window.
Shit.
He had told Ennis he wasn't interested in going to the cabin this weekend, so he assumed everything would be ok and that Joe Hyatt, and not Ennis, would be there to show them the horses, which better turn out to be the case, because he didn't think he was up to a meeting between the man he was in love with and the woman he was trying to get to know.
But God only knew what Ennis would do, he was as unpredictable as the weather. So he better try to make this a quick visit; maybe he could break an ankle getting out of the truck...be less painful than the three of them standing around looking at horses...Jesus...
Twenty minutes later Deborah pulled into the yard at Slate River, and tied to the fence, nose pushed through the bars looking for Ennis, and waiting to be loaded onto the trailer, was Mariah.
Author:
morrobay1990Warning:
Word count: 3000
Disclaimer: They are AP's
♥ Jack
♥Tara♥
Previously, on All Things Considered...
In addition to the secluded weekends at the cabin, the two men spent time together off the mountain.....yet even as they...learned about each other, talked and laughed together, somehow they remained separate, individual, one and one.
And so it went; Travis saw himself a willing player in a game where the stakes were so high he wondered how long it would be until he was forced to walk away from the table.
And always, always Jack was there...in dreams and in nightmares. He was sure that he would never love anyone the way he had loved Jack, and in any case, knew he didn't even want to try.
Introspective Ennis? Will wonders never cease....
Mariah
Deborah held out her hand to Ennis and if he was shaken, which he was, he didn't show it, shook her hand and said “Ennis Del Mar. You're here to look at the lesson horses. I got six of 'em for you, couple still bein' trained, couple older ones. How many you lookin' for?”
As he talked, he was sizing her up, trying to see if she resembled her reputation, if there was more or less to her.
So this was Travis's riding instructor. She was beautiful, all right. One of those women who was good-looking enough that she could pretend she was unaware of her face and body, when she knew damn well the commotion they could cause. She oozed confidence, another benefit of good looks and good genes.
And hell, no wonder he thought it was Mark until she stood up and turned around: her hair was pulled back off her face and stuffed up under her hat, she wore jeans, boots and a big bulky jacket – until she had turned to him and he saw the face, those glacial eyes, it could have been any tall, skinny guy on the place.
“Three for now, but maybe more over the next few months. We're getting pretty busy, lots of new students for some reason, and some of the older horses are being retired, they've done their job. Got any coffee, I could sure use a cup.”
“Yeah, come on in. I knew the guy that used to come over from Thunder Canyon, Mark something. How long you been workin' there?”
They walked into the tack room, Deborah tossed her hat on the table and sat down as Ennis handed her a cup, she leaned over and poured some coffee, added sugar, “Just moved over from Crazy J. Who does the training here?”
They sat across from each other at the table.
“There's a couple of us, me and the main guy who gives the lessons here. Sometimes we send 'em off if it's something specific for a client. But mostly me and Jim do it here.”
“Anybody show out of this barn, or you strictly train and sell?”
“We ain't a show barn, if that's what you mean. Couple of the guys do local rodeos, reining and roping, but the ranch don't sponsor 'em. Sure was different in my day – didn't need a sponsor, just show up with the entry fee in your pocket.”
“You don't show any more? I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't train all day and show the circuit.”
“Oh yeah? You do barrel racin'?”
He had meant it as an innocuous question; barrel racing was a woman's sport, everybody knew that.
Then he remembered, “You don't ride Western...”
“I train, ride and show English...sometimes hunter/jumper, but dressage mostly.”
“Oh, yeah, I heard a that. That's the fancy ridin', like circus ridin'...everybody wears a top hat, nobody ever breaks a sweat.” He didn't bother to keep the contempt from his voice.
She bristled slightly, “Yeah, that's exactly what it is.” Even Ennis couldn't miss the sarcasm.
“Sorry, I didn't mean...”
“That's ok, I get that a lot from people who don't know any better.” She pushed the coffee cup away and stood up. “Why don't you show me those horses?”
It was the second time in as many weeks that Travis had turned down Ennis's invitation to go up to the mountains, and Ennis didn't know what to make of that.
As he drove up the curving road to the cabin alone on Friday afternoon, he thought back to their conversations of the last few weeks, trying to think of something that he had said or done, not said or not done, that would make Travis choose to stay in town, wondered vaguely if it had anything to do with Deborah Strait.
He recalled the time Travis had said that the cabin...the mountain...was his favorite place, that he would rather be up there with Ennis than on a beach in Hawaii, or traveling the cities of Europe.
Ennis wasn't much of a deep thinker except where Jack was concerned; thinking too much about one thing just wore him out.
Early on when he had thought about Jack, about the past, it was always to try to figure out what went wrong, what he should have done differently, how he could have made it work. And after going over the same ground for all these years and coming up with the same answers time and again, now he just thought of Jack, the man.
His memories were precious to him; they could make him feel so happy, so relaxed. And then other times, they hurt so much, he didn't think he could stand it. These days, he tried to focus on the good ones....didn't always work.
He would close his eyes and remember how Jack looked coming back from watching the sheep, that first time he'd complained about being out there...sitting around the fire at night, telling those stupid jokes that had Ennis laughing so hard.
Then his mind would turn to how he had looked when Ennis had gone to him in the tent, how tender he had been, how he had held him that night, touched him, loved him. Ennis figured he'd spent a good couple years, maybe more all told, thinking about Jack Twist, and it was worth every minute.
But he didn't know if he was up to spending the same amount of time thinking about Travis.
Since he had met Travis, things had kind of fallen into place without too much effort on Ennis's part, a fact that secretly pleased him. Ennis had been attracted to Travis from the start, but would never have considered, even for a moment, approaching him.
So he was glad he hadn't had to make the first move, glad that Travis had come to him that first time. And with the exception of the time Ennis had been drunk and not in control, things had gone along pretty well, to his mind. He didn't give it too much thought; he was glad Travis was there, glad he had him to talk to, glad he shared Ennis's bed - did he love him?
That's when Ennis would back off his thinking, he would start to feel uncomfortable...trying to put Jack and Travis on the same level? Just couldn't ever be the same.
Now things were starting to change - Ennis hated change. In the back of his mind, he guessed that he didn't treat Travis very well; but the way he figured it, Travis was a grown man and if he didn't like it, he would move on.
And now it looked like that might be exactly what he was doing.
Ennis reached back, feeling for him, waiting for the familiar comfort, the warmth and touch of his body. But his fingers clutched at air, the space next to him was empty.
He kept his eyes shut, not wanting to face the day, another day, alone. He was so tired of replaying the same scenes, same dialogue, same ending, over and over in his mind. Why can't he forget? Why can't he forget about Travis...no, Jack...
He sat up in bed, wide awake now. What the fuck was that? Now he was having dreams about missing Travis?
Goddam it! Why couldn't he be normal? Feel something, give himself over to someone – all of him – not just his body.
He had failed Jack, failed himself, now he was failing Travis. And why? What was the point? To keep Jack's memory alive? Was that it?
He turned and put his feet on the floor, sitting on the edge of the bed, head down, tired to the bone of thinking about this shit, so fucking tired.
It was the same old thing. He had gotten so good at pushing people away, it wasn't even much of an effort any more.
Now being alone was becoming an effort.
It had never bothered him before, why now? Maybe he was getting old, maybe he was finally wising up...finally realizing that maybe, just fuckin' maybe, he didn't have to be alone...that being with someone didn't lessen the love he had for Jack, the love he'd always have for him. Maybe it was because of Travis.
In the beginning, he had taken it for what it was; someone to fill a need, someone to hold, to help ease his pain...he had used him like a drug. The relief he received allowed his mind to see Travis only as a painkiller, nothing else; not a lover, not a friend...but something shadowy and illicit that he needed to get through his days.
And as his pain subsided, and while the felling of well-being stayed with him, he could function without the pain, and he was not concerned with anything, not even Travis. He could twist his thinking as an addict would do, and separate the two, Travis and Jack; one he needed only in the basest of ways, while the other he loved, he knew now, in the most tender of ways.
But when the drug wore off, when missing Travis started to affect him, his body would demand more, and Travis would provide it. They would spend time together in the one place they both loved, and in time Ennis had grown more and more dependent on the drug, on Travis, and now the need was overwhelming. And he was afraid of what it all meant, afraid of needing another person so much; and he was afraid of forgetting Jack.
What if?
What if he left himself open to this thing with Travis? What if something happened? What if Travis left, or worse?
And there was something else that was drawing him to Travis and he didn't know if he had ever been able to define it before, but now he could put a name to it: it was trust.
He trusted Travis. He trusted him, knew with certainty that he was sincere in his words and in his actions, that he would not betray him.
The first time they made love he almost dreaded it, didn't want to allow himself the pleasure of being with someone else after Jack, even after all these years. But he'd been surprised how easy it was to let himself go, to be able to feel again, the drug taking hold.
Jack had taught him how to feel, how to touch, how to relax and let himself feel pleasure, and Ennis had never felt that again.
That first night with Jack Ennis had been scared, but he'd felt more longing than fear, and so had gone to Jack and had received comfort, tenderness, the things he thought were gone from his life forever - and so began his dreams.
Jack had taken him, had shown him how to give, how to receive love, and in doing so had given up a part of himself to Ennis, a part that Ennis would never be able to return - and so began his nightmares.
He thought of the way he was able to look into Travis's eyes as they made love, something he had rarely been able to do with Jack. He realized that it was a combination of giving, which had come from Jack, and trust, which Travis gave him freely, that he was able to do it at all.
He thought of Jack with longing and sadness, and suddenly he realized that he missed Travis.
Deborah was goddamned if she could figure out why Travis wasn't showing any interest in her.
She was used to having her pick of men, never mind the fact that she usually chose morons who had nothing to offer. Travis was different. She was attracted not only to his looks, but his easy-going manner, his way of talking, his intelligence...he seemed to have everything going for him. She didn't know what the problem was but she was sure as hell gonna find out.
“Travis, I found some horses for you to look at. I can call and set up a time to see them, if you're still interested.”
Deborah and Travis were walking the horses on the trail after his lesson, cooling them down before putting them in their stalls for the night.
“Yeah, y'know, I think I' ready to get serious about it and buy one in the next month or so.”
“Good. Why don't we meet here on Saturday, we'll take my truck. We can take them out on the trail and do some arena work. I've ridden them already, so I've narrowed it down to a couple that I think will work if you still want to do reining competition...but there's always dressage...” she smiled at him slyly.
“Yeah, that reminds me, I wanted to ask if I could go with you to one of your dressage tests. I'm just curious about this, never seen anything like it before, I've only ever been to rodeos.”
Deborah smiled as she always did when talking about her favorite subject, “You bet. I'm working on a freestyle to music for a show coming up. It's one of my favorite things to do: you have to choreograph a dressage test set to music, and the horse has to move in rhythm and still execute all the moves correctly. It's hard work, but fun. We're practicing all day tomorrow, day after, day after that, you get the idea. You can come by any time and watch.”
“Maybe I'll stop by on Friday, I'm leaving work early, got nothing planned for the weekend.” Even as he said it he felt a twinge inside: he could have something to do this weekend if he had wanted to. “You'll be here about two?”
“Told you, I'm here all day, every day, either teaching or training. Two is good.”
Finally!
Travis was asking to spend time, wanted to see her. Deborah felt triumphant, even if he had only asked to go to a dressage test. At least they had that in common, something to talk about. And he was coming over on Friday to watch her train. She felt like a high school kid and it was annoying, but Travis was the only thing she had wanted in a long time, and now she felt that all she had to do was reach out and take him.
After they got the horses bedded down, Travis left her at the ranch and drove to Nick's for a beer. After he ordered, he sat back and tried not to think about Ennis, which was pretty fucking useless, as he had found out over the past months.
Ennis always crept into his thoughts and mind. If only he could help him get over the overpowering sorrow of losing Jack. That seemed to be the only thing that was keeping them at this impasse, this crossroad. If Ennis could get past that, Travis knew that they could move on together. But now he didn't know what else to do.
Early on, he had thought that all he needed to do was to show Ennis love, and that by doing so, Ennis would relax and start to show signs of recovering from the hold Jack's ghost had on him. But Travis had tried again and again, being there when Ennis needed him, sharing his time, his thoughts, his body. Wanting to show him, so that there would be no misunderstanding how Travis felt, that he was prepared to take on Ennis's burdens as his own.
And now after so many months of trying, Travis was still in the same spot, square one, and though he didn't want to give up and move on, his self-preservation was telling him to do just that. So he had asked to spend time with Deborah to see how it felt. At least she showed interest in him, wanted to spend time with him; he had known for a while that she was interested, but he couldn't give up on Ennis yet. And now he felt Ennis gave him no choice.
He was in love with Ennis, he was sure of it. Ennis was not in love with him and probably never would be. But he had tried his best and had to move on.
Deborah was like a soothing, cool breeze on a hot day, while Ennis was more like clouds and drizzle.
Travis and Deborah left Thunder Canyon at ten on Saturday morning, heading out to see the horses she had vetted for him. After being on the road a while, and things starting to look pretty damn familiar, he asked where exactly they were going.
“Slate River. It's not too far. They've been breeding quarter horses for about twenty years so they're pretty new at it, but they have some good stock they've built on over the years.”
Travis stared out the window.
Shit.
He had told Ennis he wasn't interested in going to the cabin this weekend, so he assumed everything would be ok and that Joe Hyatt, and not Ennis, would be there to show them the horses, which better turn out to be the case, because he didn't think he was up to a meeting between the man he was in love with and the woman he was trying to get to know.
But God only knew what Ennis would do, he was as unpredictable as the weather. So he better try to make this a quick visit; maybe he could break an ankle getting out of the truck...be less painful than the three of them standing around looking at horses...Jesus...
Twenty minutes later Deborah pulled into the yard at Slate River, and tied to the fence, nose pushed through the bars looking for Ennis, and waiting to be loaded onto the trailer, was Mariah.
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Date: 2011-10-16 01:39 pm (UTC)It seems to me there is an atmosphere or perhaps it would be of unlike character which separates us, but the American fics are enlivened of a rhythm which never a European writer will be able to equate.
Well done.
José.
Il me semble qu'y a une ambiance ou peut être serait-ce du à la différence de caractère qui nous sépare, mais les fics américains sont animés d’un rythme que jamais un écrivain européen ne pourra égaler.
Bravo.
no subject
Date: 2011-10-16 05:26 pm (UTC)- E
no subject
Date: 2011-10-17 06:32 am (UTC)wouldn't that be good...
thanks for the update!
Love trist
Date: 2011-10-18 03:20 am (UTC)