Cold Comfort
Sep. 29th, 2012 05:20 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
morrobay1990Title: Cold Comfort
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
morrobay1990
Warning:
Genre: canon/sad
Word count: 850
Disclaimer: They are AP's
♥ Jack
For the September challenge
He hardly ever whistled.
He only whistled now because of the good deal on a saddle that he’d just got from one of the guys he worked with who was going through a divorce, and he knew how that was, and the guy needed some quick money for a place to live, old lady had thrown him out.
The saddle was more than a couple years old but the brand was a good one and would last him a long time…he was planning on bringing it on the next trip, let Jack try it out…it was in the back of his mind to give it to him, he’d never given Jack anything and the thought made him feel good.
Course Jack probably had a better one…then he thought that maybe Jack didn’t ride much anymore. To listen to him talk he spent his whole life dressed up and sweet-talking a bunch of rich fuckers, guys just like Jack’s father-in-law, who Ennis was glad he’d never have to meet, like he was glad he’d never have to meet Jack’s father.
He had so much saved up to tell Jack this time, he could hardly wait. Usually it was for other reasons that he was so wired up and anxious to see him…usually involving getting his hands on him…even after all these years, with so many months between them, of not being able to touch each other, it was all they could do to wait till they got their clothes off, it was usually over pretty quick…but then there were the days and nights, mornings and afternoons of long slow lovemaking…and fast dirty fucking.
This time was different, though. He wanted to talk to him. Not only talk, but talking was on his mind a lot…he was starting to miss Jack for different reasons, and he didn’t question it…it was just the next thing.
He wanted to tell him that he hardly got to see his kids anymore, now that they were getting older, sometimes they went out with their friends and he didn’t see them at all, and how hard that was after seeing them every day of their lives…until the divorce.
He had a story about a horse on the ranch where he was working, and how that horse seemed to hate everybody but Ennis, didn’t like anybody but him in the stall, would lay his ears flat against his head and bare his teeth except when Ennis went in, then he’d lower his head and push against him, once even rested his head on Ennis’s shoulder, and how nobody in the barn would believe him because he’d been alone when it happened.
The first thing on his mind, though, was that he’d had all this time to think about that last trip…that last fucking fight they’d had, and how he’d started thinking that maybe they could plan on seeing each other more…maybe longer trips, or closer together…maybe go somewhere besides Wyoming…although he didn’t really think he’d mention that.
He’d been pretty broken up after that fight, didn’t think he had it in him to keep going, to keep on making these secret trips…but then it was a month later and all he could think about was Jack…and that’s how it started, him figuring out how to bring it up so Jack wouldn’t make a big deal about it, wouldn’t make some wise crack at Ennis’s expense, wouldn’t see it as him needing Jack and being weak…but he knew it would never really be like that…he didn’t know much, but he knew Jack.
And the more he thought about it, the easier it seemed to be, it was like he was starting to see things from Jack’s point of view for the first time. He knew he had killed the only thing Jack wanted all these years…and while he didn’t seriously think that they could live together, seeing each other more was starting to make sense to him. Why not? It was a realization that had hit him one morning out of nowhere…why deny himself the only thing he really wanted in life? He knew all he had to do was say the word and they could meet up every damn month.
He had nothing and nobody to answer to anymore, long as he got the money to Alma on time, and he always did. That bullshit he tried with Jack about not getting away because of work…shit, he could always find somebody to fill in for him…it was just an excuse…an excuse that fucking backfired on him after about four weeks of being alone and realizing that he’d fucked up the August trip.
So that was the main thing he couldn’t wait to tell Jack this time – he finally saw the light and he was ready to give Jack at least some of what he’d wanted all these years…he finally knew what this whole damn thing was about…why had it taken so long? Didn’t matter…he was finally there.
He just had one more stop before going home, he started whistling again...maybe there’d be a card from Jack about November.
Author:
morrobay1990Warning:
Genre: canon/sad
Word count: 850
Disclaimer: They are AP's
♥ Jack
For the September challenge
He hardly ever whistled.
He only whistled now because of the good deal on a saddle that he’d just got from one of the guys he worked with who was going through a divorce, and he knew how that was, and the guy needed some quick money for a place to live, old lady had thrown him out.
The saddle was more than a couple years old but the brand was a good one and would last him a long time…he was planning on bringing it on the next trip, let Jack try it out…it was in the back of his mind to give it to him, he’d never given Jack anything and the thought made him feel good.
Course Jack probably had a better one…then he thought that maybe Jack didn’t ride much anymore. To listen to him talk he spent his whole life dressed up and sweet-talking a bunch of rich fuckers, guys just like Jack’s father-in-law, who Ennis was glad he’d never have to meet, like he was glad he’d never have to meet Jack’s father.
He had so much saved up to tell Jack this time, he could hardly wait. Usually it was for other reasons that he was so wired up and anxious to see him…usually involving getting his hands on him…even after all these years, with so many months between them, of not being able to touch each other, it was all they could do to wait till they got their clothes off, it was usually over pretty quick…but then there were the days and nights, mornings and afternoons of long slow lovemaking…and fast dirty fucking.
This time was different, though. He wanted to talk to him. Not only talk, but talking was on his mind a lot…he was starting to miss Jack for different reasons, and he didn’t question it…it was just the next thing.
He wanted to tell him that he hardly got to see his kids anymore, now that they were getting older, sometimes they went out with their friends and he didn’t see them at all, and how hard that was after seeing them every day of their lives…until the divorce.
He had a story about a horse on the ranch where he was working, and how that horse seemed to hate everybody but Ennis, didn’t like anybody but him in the stall, would lay his ears flat against his head and bare his teeth except when Ennis went in, then he’d lower his head and push against him, once even rested his head on Ennis’s shoulder, and how nobody in the barn would believe him because he’d been alone when it happened.
The first thing on his mind, though, was that he’d had all this time to think about that last trip…that last fucking fight they’d had, and how he’d started thinking that maybe they could plan on seeing each other more…maybe longer trips, or closer together…maybe go somewhere besides Wyoming…although he didn’t really think he’d mention that.
He’d been pretty broken up after that fight, didn’t think he had it in him to keep going, to keep on making these secret trips…but then it was a month later and all he could think about was Jack…and that’s how it started, him figuring out how to bring it up so Jack wouldn’t make a big deal about it, wouldn’t make some wise crack at Ennis’s expense, wouldn’t see it as him needing Jack and being weak…but he knew it would never really be like that…he didn’t know much, but he knew Jack.
And the more he thought about it, the easier it seemed to be, it was like he was starting to see things from Jack’s point of view for the first time. He knew he had killed the only thing Jack wanted all these years…and while he didn’t seriously think that they could live together, seeing each other more was starting to make sense to him. Why not? It was a realization that had hit him one morning out of nowhere…why deny himself the only thing he really wanted in life? He knew all he had to do was say the word and they could meet up every damn month.
He had nothing and nobody to answer to anymore, long as he got the money to Alma on time, and he always did. That bullshit he tried with Jack about not getting away because of work…shit, he could always find somebody to fill in for him…it was just an excuse…an excuse that fucking backfired on him after about four weeks of being alone and realizing that he’d fucked up the August trip.
So that was the main thing he couldn’t wait to tell Jack this time – he finally saw the light and he was ready to give Jack at least some of what he’d wanted all these years…he finally knew what this whole damn thing was about…why had it taken so long? Didn’t matter…he was finally there.
He just had one more stop before going home, he started whistling again...maybe there’d be a card from Jack about November.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
wow
Date: 2012-09-29 10:31 pm (UTC)All the times I've seen the movie, I've never considered Ennis "coming around" to Jack's pov.
And the thought of Ennis giving Jack the saddle, very sweet.
Too Late
Date: 2012-09-30 02:46 am (UTC)It is terribly painful to think that Ennis let Jack just when he was ready to let things go to a next level.
no subject
Date: 2012-09-30 05:36 am (UTC)but totally believable and therefore all the more tragic
thank you
Paula
no subject
Date: 2012-09-30 08:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-09-30 03:01 pm (UTC)But I'm afraid that, outside the golden dreams of the fandom, work was not an excuse at all, even though at the time there was no crisis comparable to now.
One more short, intense story: thank you!
no subject
Date: 2012-10-01 09:31 am (UTC)thank you so much!
no subject
Date: 2012-10-02 12:54 am (UTC)If only they had that one more trip...
no subject
Date: 2012-10-04 10:53 am (UTC)wow. that hit me right in the gut.
it's weird though, i feel like i kinda knew what was coming, where it was going,
but it still sucker-punched me.
now, for the critiquing side of things:
it feels real. the whole scenario, feels possible & likely.
indeed, both his "epiphany" AND his explanation of things to himself, feel very plausible, given what we know of ennis & his evolution.
....& his timing.
:-)
.
no subject
Date: 2012-10-08 12:15 am (UTC)