Going Home

[morrobay1990]

Title: Going Home
Author: morrobay1990
Warning:
Genre: post canon
Word count: 485
Disclaimer: Jack & Ennis are AP's
♥ Jack















It was raining.

This is one trip, Jack told himself, that he wouldn't try too hard to remember...but who was he kidding?

Not that it hadn't been good to get away, see Ennis, have him in bed.

But the sadness that had begun right after he got the postcard had lingered, even though he tried to get out from under the weight of it, tried to push it to the back of his mind.

Even Ennis had picked up on it more than once, starting with that first night in bed.

Jack had been more aggressive than usual, more demanding...not that Ennis minded that, but after it was over, he made some unusual, for him, comments.

You wanna talk or somethin? Look like you're pissed at the world.

I'm ok

Don't sound ok. Time comes you don't wanna talk, somethin ain't right.

Said I'm ok...just tired.

And other times during the two weeks, he noticed that Ennis had been more tender at times, rougher other times, depending on what Jack seemed to want...he let Jack take the lead and was content to follow wherever he wanted to go.

Jack loved it...and hated it.











“Y'know, we got everything packed up, but we don't hafta go just yet...got time for one more round.”

The little room was dark and gloomy from the heavy clouds, and was getting a chill...the fire had been doused, ashes cleaned out...the only sound was rain on the roof, occasional rumble of thunder far off.

At that suggestion, Jack was so close to venting all his pent-up anger and frustration that he almost decked Ennis...instead he paced in the room, lit a cigarette, went outside for a minute, came back in, paced some more...he was all nervous, anxious, miserable energy.

He stood by a window finishing his cigarette, willing himself to calm down, wanting...truly wanting, to be able to go to Ennis again before they had to leave...he wanted one more perfect fuck to take with him, to memorize...and at the same time, his resentment rose up and fought him...why couldn't they have more than memories?

His mind was torn...his body was not.

Ennis came up behind him and grabbed him by the arm, pushed him back toward the bed, head down, intent, lustful look on his face, taking over as he read Jack's need.

But when Jack turned his face away from Ennis's urgent kiss, he was unprepared for the sudden, total shift in Ennis, the change that came over him as he put his arms around him quickly, then moved to pull him down onto the bed, but tenderly.

And for the first time Jack could remember in a long while, Ennis talked to him, whispered soft in his ear, things that he couldn't quite say when he was looking in his eyes.

I know...I know...I'm sorry...let me try to...Jack...you know...

He stopped talking after a few minutes, but didn't stop holding him.

And that, thought Jack, would have to do.

Comments

[sjmarv.livejournal.com]

You capture Jack's dilemma so well - loving Ennis, but so wounded by his refusal to recognize Jack's depth of need for him. I can clearly see this as a pattern for them over the years: Jack just about fed up and then Ennis does some sweet thing that reels him back into the unresolvable relationship.

*Sigh*

Susan

[morrobay1990.livejournal.com]

perfectly said, that Ennis "reels him back into the unresolvable relationship."

Most of the time it's okay, but then once in a while it's just all too much for Jack.

thanks, Susan

[mazaher.livejournal.com]

They both know and understand much about each other, but all the different bits add up to two very different mental landscapes-- and this makes for missed chances, a lot of them. This is imo the very core of heartbreak in the OS.
Thank you

[morrobay1990.livejournal.com]

missed chances...so sad...they could have had so much together.

I didn't intentionally lock you out of this story, please don't think I did. I'm locking everything from now on, I'm writing for myself and for the few who have enjoyed my past stuff...I'm going to try taking some chances and doing some things different...while staying true to canon as a story.

thanks so much for your comments, and for continuing to read .

[mazaher.livejournal.com]

Thank *you* for keeping me in! I never thought you had locked me out intentionally. I do intend to continue reading, and wish you luck with whatever chances you may want to take =)

[lara-pinta.livejournal.com]

Hi

I have been away for quite a while but mean to catch up on your stories over the next few days.

You are just brilliant at getting into the hearts and souls of these two men, this is beautifully written.

Thank you
Lorna