“...sparks flying up...” 2
Dec. 3rd, 2011 04:24 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
morrobay1990Title: “...sparks flying up...” 2
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
morrobay1990
Genre: au
Warning:
Word count: 445
Disclaimer: Jack & Ennis are AP's
♥ Jack
The third in the series, beginning with “...and he found ways to spend it.” and “...quit if he had to...”
Amazingly, they have not been deleted, both are still in my journal.
Without getting up he threw deadwood on the fire, the sparks flying up with their truths and lies, a few hot points of fire landing on their hands and faces, not for the first time, and they rolled down into the dirt.
By the time Ennis got up, the sun had slipped below the mountain.
He turned on a lamp and the sharp edges of the dingy trailer slid into the corners...bringing back vague remembrances of other nights...other lights.
Jack didn't know what was he supposed to say...how he was supposed to say it.
After all these years, how was he supposed to tell Ennis that what was second nature to Jack – loving Ennis as a partner, loving him as a person to share his life with – was what he wanted from Ennis in return?
And really, it wasn't just telling Ennis – Ennis already knew all that deep down...but it was so far down it was buried...hidden beneath his fear and denial.
There was an undercurrent of longing in the room.
Jack held out his arm – an invitation – and he could see the struggle on Ennis's face...doubt clashing with desire, lust battling anger...so many emotions...none of them love.
Ennis went to him, emotions pouring from him, not the least of which was anger...anger at Jack for being with that guy, for coming here...anger at himself for needing...
They came together for different purposes...leaning on each other...hands and arms too long empty, suddenly full...the first kiss deep, urgent.
Jack backed up a step, put space between them, but looked him in the eye.
“Ennis. What you feel right now...that need...that want...that's what I feel for you every day.”
Ennis pulled away, but Jack continued.
“Every day. But you're not there, and you keep puttin up blocks...won't even think about it...but you gotta make up your mind...I ain't gonna be here forever.”
He moved forward again, even as Ennis resisted...in seconds they were bound together again, breathing, thinking, feeling as one...
“Ennis, don't you know we could have this every day...we could get away from here...go where nobody knows us, or cares...we could do it...”
Ennis froze.
“Jack...” It was a threat, a warning.
From force of habit...from ease of going there so often, Jack's mind went back to the mountain...to the first touch, rough and primal...the first kiss, soft and giving...and all the long, loving times in between.
Was it over?
“Yeah...I know.”
They moved apart.
Jack put on his jacket and looked at Ennis, even as his hand reached for the doorknob to leave.
“It's up to you. Think about what I said...I feel like this every day. Do you?”
Even as he drove away, put distance between him and Ennis and the way they had been, he knew he wouldn't be able to follow his own ultimatum...and he figured that Ennis knew that, too.
Author:
morrobay1990Genre: au
Warning:
Word count: 445
Disclaimer: Jack & Ennis are AP's
♥ Jack
The third in the series, beginning with “...and he found ways to spend it.” and “...quit if he had to...”
Amazingly, they have not been deleted, both are still in my journal.
Without getting up he threw deadwood on the fire, the sparks flying up with their truths and lies, a few hot points of fire landing on their hands and faces, not for the first time, and they rolled down into the dirt.
By the time Ennis got up, the sun had slipped below the mountain.
He turned on a lamp and the sharp edges of the dingy trailer slid into the corners...bringing back vague remembrances of other nights...other lights.
Jack didn't know what was he supposed to say...how he was supposed to say it.
After all these years, how was he supposed to tell Ennis that what was second nature to Jack – loving Ennis as a partner, loving him as a person to share his life with – was what he wanted from Ennis in return?
And really, it wasn't just telling Ennis – Ennis already knew all that deep down...but it was so far down it was buried...hidden beneath his fear and denial.
There was an undercurrent of longing in the room.
Jack held out his arm – an invitation – and he could see the struggle on Ennis's face...doubt clashing with desire, lust battling anger...so many emotions...none of them love.
Ennis went to him, emotions pouring from him, not the least of which was anger...anger at Jack for being with that guy, for coming here...anger at himself for needing...
They came together for different purposes...leaning on each other...hands and arms too long empty, suddenly full...the first kiss deep, urgent.
Jack backed up a step, put space between them, but looked him in the eye.
“Ennis. What you feel right now...that need...that want...that's what I feel for you every day.”
Ennis pulled away, but Jack continued.
“Every day. But you're not there, and you keep puttin up blocks...won't even think about it...but you gotta make up your mind...I ain't gonna be here forever.”
He moved forward again, even as Ennis resisted...in seconds they were bound together again, breathing, thinking, feeling as one...
“Ennis, don't you know we could have this every day...we could get away from here...go where nobody knows us, or cares...we could do it...”
Ennis froze.
“Jack...” It was a threat, a warning.
From force of habit...from ease of going there so often, Jack's mind went back to the mountain...to the first touch, rough and primal...the first kiss, soft and giving...and all the long, loving times in between.
Was it over?
“Yeah...I know.”
They moved apart.
Jack put on his jacket and looked at Ennis, even as his hand reached for the doorknob to leave.
“It's up to you. Think about what I said...I feel like this every day. Do you?”
Even as he drove away, put distance between him and Ennis and the way they had been, he knew he wouldn't be able to follow his own ultimatum...and he figured that Ennis knew that, too.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2011-12-03 11:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-04 12:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-04 01:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-04 01:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-04 01:27 am (UTC)I thought you meant Jack spoonfeeding Ennis. My current feeling is that if Jack made a specific ultimatum at this point, Ennis would erupt with fuck you, throw Jack out, feel remorse later, try to make amends but it would be the last straw for Jack. In this story, anyway, because he has Michael (and not Randall) in the wings. Good for maybe two more chapters at most.
no subject
Date: 2011-12-04 05:36 pm (UTC)Sorry to hear about your ankle, what a way to ruin your visit...and it sounds painful, so keep taking those pills...
no subject
Date: 2011-12-04 01:13 am (UTC)I took a hiatus from BBM for a couple of months to regain my bearings in RL. Think I'm on my way to some stability now and getting caught up in the WIPs I was following.
So glad to see you return to this series. You write these fellows so close to the OS (story and film.) Each chapter is a pleasure to read for your literary skills, even if keeping the characters so close to OS is heartbreaking.
Soulan wished Jack would make an ultimatum; I wish Ennis was more courageous.
Susan
no subject
Date: 2011-12-04 01:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-04 05:48 pm (UTC)I've been having a crisis of belief in the original story...all these 6 years I've thought 1 thing, and now I'm seeing other things come up, questions that I can't answer the way I want to...about their love, about their basic connection to one another...and it's coming out here.
thanks so much.
choices
Date: 2011-12-04 02:14 am (UTC)Re: choices
Date: 2011-12-04 05:39 pm (UTC)the more I think about their relationship to each other, the more I really wonder what hold Ennis had on Jack...maybe he's coming to the end of his reign over Jack.
And thank you for your ps...
no subject
Date: 2011-12-04 04:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-04 05:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-04 05:20 pm (UTC)Shit.
He's like a horse stuck in a routine and unable to change his outlook on the situation. With such a horse, I'd strive to shock him with a sudden surprise of the not-dangerous kind. But what Jack offers is the very height of mutual danger in Ennis' eyes. At this point I wonder if he can reason with himself enough to pick himself up and follow after Jack before it's too late...
no subject
Date: 2011-12-04 05:45 pm (UTC)As my understanding of the story evolves, so does this story...and right now I'm pretty confused...
no subject
Date: 2011-12-05 07:40 am (UTC)thanks for writing this!
no subject
Date: 2012-07-02 03:25 pm (UTC):(
Even as he drove away, put distance between him and Ennis and the way they had been, he knew he wouldn't be able to follow his own ultimatum...and he figured that Ennis knew that, too.
And that is the problem :'(