morrobay1990

Title: 5 Things Ennis Misses About Jack ('83 - Present)
Author:

morrobay1990
Genre: post canon
Word count: 320
Disclaimer: Jack & Ennis are AP's.
♥ Jack

5 Things Ennis Misses About Jack ('83 - present)

5. Making love.
Can't say he'd fucked for fun much, not after that
summer with Jack...that summer was fun, but more
than that...'course he'd only faced up to that lately...
after that, after Brokeback...with Alma, well, it was
okay...couldn't say they did it for fun all that much...
he thought about Jack a lot when he was with Alma...
wasn't right – couldn't help it...he guessed it was
just him getting older that made it - less
like just fucking, more like making love...he didn't
think about it much, men were supposed to like fucking
anybody just 'cause it felt good, right?

4. Sleeping.
Sure never thought he'd miss something like sleeping
next to Jack, but he does. Funny thing...when he was
married to Alma, he liked to have space around him
when he was sleeping, and she was always wanting to
smash herself up against him...well, he guessed he
knew why she liked it, 'cause now when he thought
about it, he remembered what it was like...him and
Jack down in that sleeping bag, pulled up over their
heads if it was real cold...they fit together...
they were warm, safe, together. Got cold sleeping
alone...fuck yeah, he missed sleeping with Jack.

3. Looking forward.
Twenty years he had something to look forward to...
picking out a place to meet up, sending that postcard,
waiting for the one to come back...after '83, he
didn't have nothing...Jack was what he'd looked forward
to for all them years and now there was nothing.
So...what do you do with your life when you got nothing
coming up, nothing to plan for, nothing you want to do?
He used to think that if you didn't have nothing then
you didn't need nothing...well, that was all shot
to shit...he didn't have Jack, but he sure as hell
needed him.

2. Riding the mountains.
Simple thing. Until you didn't have anyone to ride
the mountains with. Once, ten or fifteen years
after Jack died, he'd gone up there by himself...took
his horse...rode up higher than he and Jack had ever been...
'course they usually didn't get too far up 'cause they'd find a
decent place to camp and stop right away, didn't want
to use up too much time going higher...needed to be
together more than they needed to find the perfect spot.
But this time, when he went up alone, he kept seeing
things that he wished he could share with Jack...eagle
high up on a treetop, about the best sunset he could
remember...and a waterfall – shit, had they ever come
up on a waterfall? Riding the mountains alone...
yeah, well...he'd never do that again...

1. Talking.
Never considered himself much of a talker...never
realized how much he had talked to Jack until he
was gone...never realized that he used to save things
up to tell him...little stuff mostly...how he didn't
like who he was working for at the time...the good
deal he got on the last saddle he bought...how he
liked being able to get away with Jack, go to the
mountains, only time he felt free...little stuff.