Dead of Winter

[morrobay1990]

Title: Dead of Winter
Author: morrobay1990
Warning:
Genre: canon
Word count: 120
Disclaimer: They are AP's
♥ Jack
















“Thought you was sleepin.”

“Figured that.”

“So?”

“So what?”

“You hear everything?”

“Heard enough.”

“What’s that mean?”

“Means you must be drunker than I am.”

“Must be.”

“Did ya mean it?”



“.....”



“Ennis.”

“Yeah.”

“Did ya...”

“I heard ya.”

“So?”

“Yeah.”

“Took ya long enough.”

“Move over.”

“I’m up against the wall as it is.”

“This way, darlin.”

“Mmm, feels real good.”

“Never did this with Alma much...better with you.”

“Damn, more words. Why you think that is? That you like layin close with me better than Alma?”

“Never spent no time thinkin about it.”

“Maybe cause I feel better than Alma…you feel better than Lureen.”

“Thanks a lot.”

“I’m just sayin...”

“Don’t know why it is...just is.”

Comments

[tizi17.livejournal.com]

yes. exactly the way i figure them talking.

[mollyinmirror.livejournal.com]

Agree, very authentic.
Interesting take on the Short Story.
Thank you!

[mazaher.livejournal.com]

I'm glad I don't have to choose among the versions. This is the gift in truthful stories, that they are alive. Like a tree, they give fruit again and again, and seed new stories. Thank you

[eandj.livejournal.com]

I can actually hear them talking- feels real
thanks
Paula

[expletory.livejournal.com]

even in this dialogic form that has very little narrative outside the conversation, the conversation itself made me feel something. the part where they lay close to each other is erotic, and the lines "Move over" and "This way, darlin." are the ones that make it so for me. sometimes that's the only imagery that's needed. this part also made me quickly think about winter and about being nude in front of someone. both are occasions that can make you feel vulnerable if you're triggered. I think those are lovely associations, so thanks for writing in dialogues. :)

[gwylliondream.livejournal.com]

This is a great experiment! I think it would be particularly useful for someone who wanted to improve their dialogue writing skills.

The “.....” is perfect, but it must be so difficult to only have used it once.

Looking forward to more of this.

I'm all about meta!!