Dead of Winter

[morrobay1990]

Title: Dead of Winter
Author: morrobay1990
Warning:
Genre: canon
Word count: 140
Disclaimer: They are AP's
♥ Jack












"Still hungry?"

"Gimme a smoke."

"Want any a this?"

"Not now…….but don’t finish it."

"Shit, even I couldn’t drink a whole bottle by myself."

"Yeah, I bet."

"So?"

"What?"

"Thought you wanted to talk."

"I wanna talk……you don’t wanna listen."

"How many times we been over this?"

"Well, let’s see, Ennis….I been drivin up here two three times a year for ‘leven, twelve years. You keepin track? Had a good idea, still a good idea...you just don’t wanna hear it..."

"Been this way since we started...ain’t nothin new I’m tellin ya."

"No. Ain’t nothin new...why can’t you see it? We could do it. We could do it. Be hard, so what? This ain’t hard? This is..."

"This don’t get us killed, Jack! Why can’t you see it?"




"There’s dyin and dyin, Ennis."

Comments

ouch

[gibbous-moon.livejournal.com]

short. succinct. this one really grabbed me. and you know i love the cabin.

kj

Re: ouch

[morrobay1990.livejournal.com]

Thanks, kj. Jack's getting fed up, but he has no choice...he'll calm down, accept his reality again, and drop the subject - might even enjoy the rest of the trip.

And he'll do what he must when Ennis isn't around for him...

[eandj.livejournal.com]

There’s dyin and dyin, Ennis
yes and the goal is to have a life before death
it's a shame Ennis never could see this
Paula

[morrobay1990.livejournal.com]

yes, living life before you die is a good goal...can someone please tell that to Ennis?

[soulan.livejournal.com]

Just a technical thing, but I prefer to have the quotation marks. Without them it feels a little step away from their voices.

I think they need to get up and out of the cabin for a while.

[morrobay1990.livejournal.com]

yeah, I'll put " " back next time, I was tired, or maybe lazy.

As for leaving the cabin, 'fraid not, they're stuck there with each other.

[mazaher.livejournal.com]

"This don't get us killed".
What a low standard of living Ennis is used to. More like bare survival.
And I wonder whether he may not think that dying (by wearing each other down along the years) and being killed (by someone else, some stranger intruding into the sacred space of whatever it is they have) are two deeply different things indeed.
Another great version. Thanks.

[morrobay1990.livejournal.com]

That's a good point, that Ennis had such a low standard of living - besides just the crappy trailer...

thank you!

[gwylliondream.livejournal.com]

Ahh..... great closing line.

I'm with Kim. I like the quotation marks.

Nice experiment on this entry, though.

[morrobay1990.livejournal.com]

thanks, Donna.

Yeah, I'm goin back to quotes next time.

[sandscrit.livejournal.com]

This is such a neat dialogue-only experiment! The conversations are both rich and subtle enough to really stand on their own, without the help of narrative. You really have to wonder how many of these conversations the guys had over the years... wanting to talk about things, not wanting to talk, wanting to make a change, not knowing how... painful and frustrating for them both. I'm glad they've both heard about each other's pain -- at very least, how deep that pain is -- and maybe appreciate what the other's going through. Of course, I can't help but hope you change the genre from canon to au... But if not, it's comforting at least to know that Jack died knowing how much and how deeply Ennis loved him (and that Ennis doesn't have that regret to live with), even if Ennis couldn't take the steps needed to be build a life together.

[morrobay1990.livejournal.com]

Well, thanks, Tina......now you've got me thinking about taking this thing au :)

What if they just never went back home...I did that when I went to Hawaii for a week once....I stayed. Didn't have a family, though.

And that's another thing I want to tackle one day - how terribly they each treated their families, their kids...

Sorry to ramble....and really, thank you for reading and leaving your thoughts, much appreciated.

[expletory.livejournal.com]

reading this makes me curious about how they are when they let their actions speak rather than letting the words expressing their thoughts. I do know that in the film they are almost violently immediate in many situations where they are intimate. after reading this I have an image in my mind of Jack pulling away when Ennis tries to be intimate with him. I wonder how Ennis would handle it if Jack pulled away, and if such a situation would make Ennis question Jack. maybe I'm philosophical today but I guess the dynamics of someone quiet and someone heartily chatty is something I'm continuously exploring in my own life. there's another scenario: if Jack told Ennis that he could ask him anything - what questions would Ennis actually be asking then? I think it's very interesting to try and challenge myself with scenarios such as these. the last line is very fitting. I hope Ennis will reply to it.

[morrobay1990.livejournal.com]

It's very difficult to get intimate gestures across without narrative, as I'm finding out! Ennis caressing Jack's face, looking in each other's eyes, even kissing...you have to imagine it all if it's not told to you.


"after reading this I have an image in my mind of Jack pulling away when Ennis tries to be intimate with him."

Yes, that's exactly the feeling I wanted to get across; in the last few chapters, Jack is losing his patience with Ennis (and, I suspect, with himself), is stubbornly refusing to talk, and pulling back.

Physically, I see him turned away, not looking at Ennis, not making eye contact, trying to show Ennis just how harshly all this affects him.

And Ennis might know that, but I feel that he just isn't capable of doing anything about it.

"I wonder how Ennis would handle it if Jack pulled away, and if such a situation would make Ennis question Jack. maybe I'm philosophical today but I guess the dynamics of someone quiet and someone heartily chatty is something I'm continuously exploring in my own life."

Now you're giving me ideas!

Thank you so much for your comments, they really make me think about all this.